Secrets
by Geniusgirl The Original
Summary: OLD STORY Celena Schezar is changing her mind about life and she turns to the one person who truly knows her. Can he help her...moreover, WILL he? *Chapter 12 up* STORY COMPLETE.
1. Discussions

Secrets

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**AN:** This is something I've had on my mind for ages. I wrote it down a long time ago and I threw it away and I now I realise I like it very much. This intro may seem a little weird but it's important. Please remember that this is a fan fiction and I don't follow the plot completely in this story. Never have. Review me. Please! 

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 "Dilandau," she called into the darkness. She knew he was there; it was where he always was and wanted to stay. Not if she had anything to say about it. 

"What?" he asked as he appeared behind her suddenly. She did not jump or flinch or gasp at his sharp response, instead she turned easily to face him. He was leaning against something solid but it was not visible to the eye. It was simply there. 

It was dark. The space around them was pitch black but they were able to see each other as if it were high noon. But there was no light there, not a single flame of flicker of ray of light. Nothing bright reached the place where they stood. 

He stood, decked fully in his black and red Zaibach armour, staring at her with cold and disinterested red eyes. She stared back at him, dressed in the exact same outfit only slightly modified to fit a few more of her feminine traits. 

"I need to speak to you," she said, her voice commanding, like that of a sovereign. 

"Why?" His attitude was unbearable sometimes.

"You know fully well why," she almost spat back. Even for fully trained ladies who knew how to keep their composure at all times, Dilandau was just too much sometimes.

"So?" he asked using his best I-don't-give-a-donkey's-rear-about-this expression. Though he was still being extremely rude, he showed whatever abstract respect he had for the woman standing before him by simply listening. There were many days when he would never give her the time of day. Today, he was not only interested but also obligated to be at this particular meeting.

"So?" she asked changing it only slightly to I-don't-give-a-donkey's-rear-about-your-attitude.

"Milady Schezar, do you not know that whatever my opinion may be, it does not matter? You are the supreme entity and I am simply the darkest part of your soul given shape? Do you not know that?" he asked, his voice rising slightly to the maniac pitch that had once been his trademark tone. 

"My lord Albatou, I want to know if you are ready to accept my proposal; Simple as that. If you feel, however that you are not, don't even bother," her sentence lost its professionalism and nobility to become a plainly disgusted statement with the last three words.

"Very well then, what is it you want, Celena?" he asked standing straight.

"I want to die, Dilandau." It took him a few minutes to process this statement. This frail, weak and strong, beautiful and revolting woman that stood in front of him was asking to die after showing all the force of the strength she possessed by simply reclaiming her body from his iron clutches. She wanted to DIE?

"Why?" Not only did she want to die, she was going to kill him too.

"I don't deserve to live. I'm not a nice person," she sounded very naive. She knew she did but she had nothing to hide from him, he knew her inside out, he was…her very soul. 

"You sound like a child, Lady Schezar," he said flatly. "The question is, why have you come to tell me this? It does not matter if you I die for you are the person, I am the secret."

"I want to be the secret," she whispered. "I liked being the secret. I could never deal with people the way you did and I hate it! I hate living this lie of a life that Allen has created! Your existence is never mentioned; the fact that I had even ever been gone from this place he calls my home is made a lie. I can't stand it! I HATE BEING HIS LITTLE TOY SISTER!" 

She wasn't throwing some little rich girl tantrum. She was screaming with all the force and malice that Dilandau screamed with if not worse. Dilandau watched and was amazed. Maybe, he had never been the stronger one. Maybe he had not lost his physical self in a moment of weakness; maybe he had simply lost it to the stronger entity.

"So you have come to get my approval to end your life? You feel guilty about killing me because, in your mind, I have always been a person," he said. He began walking towards her and she stood there not caring about his movements, only his words. "You don't want to die a killer and so you are asking me to sign my own death certificate. You really are something you know."

Her attire had changed. She was now in a simple sleeveless black gown that billowed out around her and covered her toes. 'How did that happen?' she asked herself. She had not thought about changing nor had she felt the need to or the impulse. She was at ease in the Zaibach armour just as much as Dilandau was. Then she realised she could not see Dilandau. 

A hand reached out from behind her and grabbed her arm. It spun her around and she found herself pressed against Dilandau who was now in a white shirt like Allen's, black pants and black knee-high leather boots. 

Celena had never been so close to anyone, male or female, in her life. Even Allen didn't hold her so close and so tightly when he hugged her and Celena suddenly realised that this was what she wanted; she needed it and she needed him. Close human contact, if one would go so far as to call Dilandau human. 

 "You have always intrigued me, Lady Celena Schezar. Do you not know that?" he said.

In all honesty, Celena was unable to think at the moment. When, finally, she managed to realise what he had said, it struck her that although she knew of everything he thought and saw and did and felt; she had never taken the time to gauge his opinion of her. In fact, the idea that he had an opinion of her had never crossed her mind.

"Actually," she breath out, pushing him away from her, "I never knew you thought about me. But I need to clarify one thing. I am not asking you to die. I'm asking to be the secret."

Oh.

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**AN:** BTW, I'm not an Allen hater but he did get slight bashing in this chapter. Oh, yeah, one more thing you should know for later on, I HATE Dydren. I don't know why, I just do. (Allen/Millerna fan… ^-^; hehe. So sue me!)

REVIEWS, FLAMES, COMMENTS, SUGGESTION ARE WELCOME. LEAVE THEM IN A REVIEW AND THANX FOR READING ^-^!

Got nothing else to do with my time here.  


	2. Questions

Secrets Chapter 2

**AN:** Hey, everyone, new chapter up! I really didn't expect this to be a success. People liked it. Wow @_@! Anyway, to all of the people who reviewed, thank you so much!

**Public Apology:** To ImagineGal, I'm sooooo sorry! I really didn't realise I had stolen it until you mentioned it. It just seemed like the kind of line Dilandau would use when talking to a girl. I'm REALLY SORRY!  I felt terrible when I realised what you were talking about but now at least, you know I didn't mean to. It was a really I line I made up when I was writing it so I didn't really steal it. 

**-*LAST* thing**, what should this be, A Dilandau/Celena romance or a Dilly/Somebody else romance? I could work with either one. You'll probably faint when you find out whom the somebody else I have in mind is. HONESTLY!

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"Why?" the word sounded as though it was strangled out of his mouth and Allen Schezar, Heavenly Knight of Caeli, could do nothing but gape at his sister with an expression made of a mixture of shock and horror on his face. What little light there was in his study at two in the morning was enough for Celena to gauge her brother's expression with. Not seeing any anger or disappointment on his face, she felt more able to continue with what she had set out to do. Or at least what she had set out to say to him.

"Because, Allen, I don't deserve and I don't want to continue on like this," she said quietly. Normally, she would have to shout over his constant attempts to change the topic whenever something regarding Dilandau was said; now her voice was barely above a whisper but she knew he heard her. Allen was finally listening.

"He has more of a life, more of a…right to live than I do," she was choosing her words carefully. The slightest mistake, one slip in her choice of words could take them back to square one. She continued on bravely, feeling almost spurred on by a voice at the back of her mind, Dilandau's voice. "I have nothing to live for, I have no life but he does. Dilandau has so much he ought to live for and he…he knows how to live."

Allen sat silently in the shadows of the chair he occupied, not moving, not saying a word. He was silently fuming. Everything his baby sister had said, she didn't know what she was talking about. She had simply had a terrible dream and somehow Dilandau had managed to penetrate into her conscious mind and tell her she didn't deserve to live. This wasn't her choice…was it?

"He knows how to live?" he asked suddenly, making her, making them jump suddenly for Dilandau was as much a part of this conversation as any of the Schezars. "He was a maniac! Do you have any idea what kind of havoc he created? Do you know the kinds of things he did to people? He burnt Van's kingdom to the ground. He tried to kill me! And you want him to live? You don't know what kind of…of monster-" Allen's sentence was cut short by an outburst from Celena.

"YES! I DO KNOW AND I DON'T CARE!" she shouted and it echoed throughout their empty mansion and into the night, a testimony to her unswerving trust in her alter ego. Before Allen was able to open his mouth and get a word in sideways, she continued on.

 "Because all that he ever lived for, all that drove him to do what he did and all the horrendous things that was behind his madness, as some love to call it, is gone. His only option is to apologise and start over. I couldn't do it, but I know he can."

  "What do you mean you couldn't do it?" Allen asked, eyes narrowed and forehead creased deeply as he contemplated the sentences that his sister had shot at him. "And who could get –Dilandau- to apologise?" he spat the boy's name out like it was poison in his mouth. 

" I could." She said simply. All her energy seemingly drained from her frustration and pervious speech.

"And you have how much control over him? The madman kept you locked away for ten years. He took away you life and now you want to let him back out into the world? Celena, dearest sister, are you sure you are alright?" Allen asked raising one eyebrow. For him sarcasm was a rarity but then again, it wasn't everyday your sister told you she wanted to let your ex-would-have-been-murderer back into your life, in your own house, no less!

"He did not keep me 'locked up', as you so kindly put it, brother. He protected me when I needed someone to. He became my strength when the Zaibach 'scientists' were done with me. He is as much a part of me as I am of him and don't you DARE say anything against him! I know he, no we did some horrible things but do you think he enjoyed doing them, liked doing them as-"

She stopped. 'As much as I did?' the end of her sentence stunned her. How on in the world could she ever think something so HORRID? She liked it more than Dilandau did? All of the killing, the war, the blood…she liked it more than he did? Was it really she behind all of the terrible things Dilandau had done? Was she the one who had tried to kill so many people, her own brother included? Was it she who felt the bloodlust for Van? 

NO! She knew the answer there. It was Dilandau who wanted Van dead, not her. But it was her vanity, though, her love of their beautiful face, that made Dilandau go after him with such a vengeance. She was the evil, not him.

_Do you think he enjoyed doing them, liked doing them as much as I did? Do you think he was half as crazy as I was? Enjoyed it as much as I did? Liked it as much as I did? As much as I did? As I did? As I did! As I did!_

Allen saw the expression of horror, of pure and total mortification that settled itself upon his sister's face when she abruptly halted her speech. Her hands flew to her face, mainly her mouth, and she shook her head, trying to clear some terrible, terrible thought from it.

He jumped up off his chair and over his desk in time to catch her limp, falling form.

She had fainted.

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**AN:** Depending on what people want, the next chapter will be crucial. It's not go either way preamble where anything can happen in the last minute, if people say Dilandau/Celena (which I'm rather fond of myself) or Dilandau/Some-other-person (the reviews for which I'll die laughing), the next chapter will decide on the going. After that's done there's no turning back, we can't revert to Dilly/Cele or Dilly/S-B-E. Tell me what you want and the faster you do, the faster the next chapter come out. 

REVIEWS, FLAMES, COMMENTS, SUGGESTION ARE WELCOME. LEAVE THEM IN A REVIEW AND THANX FOR READING ^-^!


	3. Promises

Secrets Chapter Three

**AN:** Hey, due the amount of reviews calling for a Dilandau/Celena romance and the demand for the next chapter fast I went ahead and made it that. For all those of you who wanted it to be a Dilandau/SBE I'll probably still do that when I'm done with this one. To all of the people who reviewed, thank you so much! You're all so nice ^-^! Now on with the story. 

-**BTW**, this is the longest chapter so far With tons of Allen bashing. Sorry Allen fans, he's just so easy to bash.

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     She called his name into the darkness once again. She screamed it as though her very life depended upon his answering and, in a way, it did. 

     The darkness was the same but not, it was blacker, bleaker somehow. There were shadows now. Shadows cast upon the faces of the two people who were, supposedly there, shadows on their faces and shadows on their minds. 

     "DILANDAU!" she screamed again, she didn't need to scream, he would hear her if she so much as barely breathed it out but she wanted to scream it. The screaming carried her urgency, let her feelings be known. She couldn't scream out loud in the house, Allen would think she had broken down completely and go even crazier about her than he already was. And, then again, didn't they always scream to blow of steam?

     She needed to see him, she needed him but he wasn't there the BLOODY LIAR! She hadn't realised she had screamed out the last two words.

     Her voice echoed through the nothingness that was filled with so much until finally, she saw he had appeared, materialised, arrived, call it what you want. She hadn't heard him though, hadn't seen him and didn't know how long he'd been there and frankly didn't care. Small, trivial matters as such didn't matter to them. She looked at him sitting on a chair made of the same full, black emptiness that made everything where he stayed. Of course, no one could see where or what he was on.

     This time, he wasn't in his Zaibach uniform, and, come to think of it, he rarely wore it now. He was in pure black and it made him seem like a head and hands floating about in an empty void but one could be sure he had a body there…somewhere. Black pants, steel tipped boots and a rather Allen-esque black shirt (AN: let's just say this one time that Allen is fashion so Dilandau wears what he wears 'cause it's the latest stuff out. For the past three years ^-~).

     Celena was still in the nightclothes she had been wearing when talking to Allen except for… Oh gods, her dressing gown was gone. She stood there in an extremely short piece of purple silk that were barely held in place by two very thin straps of the same delicate material. But then again, that didn't matter either. He was part of her.

     "What did you call me?" he asked, his voice dangerously low. "What do you want, weakling? I don't know why you came back here and I really don't care but say what you have to and go. I don't need to waste my time with someone like you." He looked tired, and sick and stoned…wait, he was drunk. And to top it off, he was completely pissed about the result of her 'discussion' with Allen. 

She looked at him as he refused to even glance in her direction. She couldn't stand it. She was questioning her very existence and for the first time, she was really and truly alone. She fell to her knees, sobbing his name helplessly. What had she done? It wasn't him, it was never anything to do with him, he was the face. She was the evil and she didn't deserve to live, not even in his body, especially not in his body.

 She'd just make his life a misery. When he went on and tried to continue his life she'd simply burden him, stop him from becoming everything he could become simply by being in his mind. Hell, she wondered, in a fleeting instant, whether she'd be able to accept it if he ever fell in love with a girl. Would she be able to allow all of Dilandau to love fully, unconditionally, unrestrainedly? For some reason she doubted whether or not she could accept him falling in love period.

He looked up. What? Why was she crying, he couldn't have been that harsh? He knew he'd told her worse using language unfitting for ladies' ears and she'd taken it. Why cry now? He sobered up almost immediately. She was kneeling on the cold hard ground with her face in her hands, sobbing in earnest. He couldn't leave her there. He got up and began walking towards her.

"Dilandau, I don't want to be alone," she whispered into her hands. "I don't want to be alone." Before Celena knew what had happened Dilandau's arms had wrapped around her and pulled her into a tentative yet comforting embrace. She buried her face in his chest until she was able to form coherent sentences without sniffling.

"Shh," he said quietly in her ear, "You're not alone. You're never going to be alone. I'm going to be with you…always. I promise you that. But it's not like I have a choice or anything, do I?" he tried to stop her form crying but his last sentences came out bitter and resentful. He knew that wouldn't help his situation but then again, she had already stopped crying.

She sniffed and turned her head to look up at him. It was impossible to tell exactly what was going on that silver-haired head of his. His face was unreadable as a blank stone tablet, even for her. Celena knew she could easily find out but she didn't want to. He had been right, she did think of him as another human being, a completely separate person. And a person's thoughts are supposed to be private, are they not? She wasn't going to intrude. But she was going to tell him what had been bothering her and he was going to listen, whether he liked it or not.

"I need to ask you something," she said. She had stayed in his arms and he had let her stay there. They were one person were they not? She felt safe there. She needed her face. As an evil, she needed a face and he was it. He was her cover.

"What?" he asked stroking her hair absentmindedly; Celena didn't mind either. It reminded her of something her mother had done many, many years ago.

"Who was it?" she asked.

"What?" he said again, his face now registering his honest confusion.

"Who was it? Who was the truly evil one? Was it you or I? Were you the bad one who liked all of the blood and gore and violence or was that me?" she asked. She was wondering why she was asking it for someone who was so good to her couldn't possibly be that terrible. Then again, she was a special case.

"What are you talking about, Schezar? I was the one that BLOODY DISGUSTING BASTARD WEAKLING KING OF THAT TINY UNCONSEQUENTIAL FU-" he was starting to scream like he used to. All maniacally and soon he'd be cackling and thinking up ways to kill Van Fanel that Celena did not want to dream about. 

Some things refused to change although Dilandau's bloodlust for Van seemed to have died down, there were still times when the mere mention of his name could set his blood boiling. He unconsciously tightened his grip on Celena. Seeing as how they were kneeling down on the floor, it was not such a great idea on Dilandau's part to do this and throw his head backwards with the amount of force he had. The end result was the two, Celena atop Dilandau, on the flat, hard, uncomfortable ground. 

Celena found her nightgown riding dangerously high on her hips and she willed it to change into anything longer. She wound up in a straight, deep violet, dress with large flared sleeves and tight cuffs. The neckline, however, decided to dip into a far too low 'V' down her front.

She detangled form from Dilandau's and sat down, knees propped up, ankles together and her wrists perched delicately atop her knees. Dilandau sat up, in a slouched position Indian style.

"Don't use that word," she said. "It was I, wasn't it? I know it was. I almost said so to Allen!"

"I know. I was listening."

"And there was something else I thought of too."

"What?" he asked, a bit of his impatience seeping into his voice. 

"When I become the secret. Yes, when I become the secret, screw all the crap Allen spews, I don't listen to his bullshit opinions anyways," she said causing Dilandau to turn and look at her, one silver eyebrow delicately raised and his almost ever-present smirk on his face. His eyes seemed to be laughing.

"Looks like I rubbed off on you," he mumbled, smiling despite himself.

"Yes, you did. And I'm not proud of it," she stated and his smile widened. "But really, when I become the secret, what'll happen if…if you fall in love with a…girl?" she said timidly, not quite able to put across what she wanted too but at the same time saying so much more than she had wanted to. 

"What do you mean 'if' I fall in love with a woman?" he asked sitting up straight. "Of course I'll fall in love with a woman! I may have spent most of my time with men Vione but I knew how to deal with…urges." He blushed slightly as he finished his sentence.

"You're straight?" she asked truly surprised. "And I always thought…"

"Always thought what?" he asked, his eyes narrowed on her rather flustered face. This was obviously not what she had intended for them to talk about.

"That…well, you know…you and Chesta…well…you know!" she blurted in exasperation. She had no idea and really no intention of putting over what she was trying to say very clearly. He'd still get it though, she'd said enough for him to put two and two together and come up with four. 

"Me and Chesta?" he murmured.

"Yeah, well, I wasn't the only one who thought so!" she cried defensively. Tearing her eyes from her toes she dared risk a glance in his direction. He was chuckling to himself. He started to laugh harder and harder and she let him. When he began to go into hysterics, however, she shook him out of it.

"So. What you're saying is that if I ever fall in love, you'll do…what?" he asked looking really worried after he had regained his composure. It had never occurred to him that she might have a problem letting her 'other half' fall in love. It would have been so much simpler if either of them had been otherwise inclined. Then it wouldn't be hard for the other part of them to love their spouse too but no, they both just had to be straight.

"I won't do anything."

"So what's the problem? If you're going to ignore me and my…you know, what's the problem?" he asked, not understanding an ounce of her logic.

"You see, Dilandau, if you were to fall in love and I didn't agree but didn't do anything, you'd never be able to give yourself completely to the one you loved. You'd be…restrained in a way. I would never do anything to stop you from loving but…"she left it hanging but Dilandau understood exactly what she meant.

"Oh. So what do you propose we do?" he asked stroking the scar on his cheek. 

"We split."

"What?" the hand fell.

"If they could put us together, they can take us apart, don't you think?"

"Well, I never really had a body to begin with, I've always used your body. A soul without vessel can't do much but haunt people," he said. He had a very downcast look on his face, which probably had never been seen there by anyone but the two. Celena felt like kicking herself. She hadn't thought it through. How was he supposed to become a different person without a body?

"Well, you could always haunt Allen for fun," she said trying to lighten the mood and come up with a way to get him a body. He didn't laugh or even smile. She hadn't expected him to.

"Listen to me, Dilandau, you are going to get yourself a body even if I have to sleep with half the girls on Gaea for it. You'll either get one of your own or take mine but you're not staying in my head any longer. I believe that you're ready to face the outside world once more and you'll do it without the blood, war and violence and you will not, I repeat, you WILL NOT lay a finger on Van Fanel," she had gotten up somewhere in the middle of her speech and was now standing looking at the top of his head. 

She reached down and took his face in her hands, turning it to look upwards at her. Celena moved down onto her knees and knelt in front of him. He was crying. The untouchable Dilandau Albatau was crying silently, glistening tears running down his pale cheeks. 

"You will live Dilandau, and even if I have to give my body up for it, you will live and you will love and you will do something good with your life, I promise you that. Do you understand me? You will live," she said quietly. Then, whether on impulse or instinct or something else, she leaned forward and kissed him fully, with everything she had. 

When he wrapped his arms around her small waist and began to return her kiss, a wind not thought to exist in these far reaches of her mind rose up, the two were engulfed in light brighter than anything ever seen in her soul then everything abruptly went black…

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**AN:** I know! I'm a terrible person, a cliffhanger! *Hides behind chair dodging various flying objects sent her way* I'll try to get the next chapter up soon and not have you stuck in suspense for too long.

     REVIEWS, FLAMES, COMMENTS, SUGGESTION ARE WELCOME. LEAVE THEM IN A REVIEW AND THANX FOR READING 

^-^!


	4. Mornings

Secrets Chapter Four

**AN:** Hello, people, thanks for reviewing me. It makes me feel loved ^-^! I'm very pleased that so many people liked the last chapters and I'm very happy to have this one up. It's short and ends in a weird-ish place. I'm not sure if it's a cliffhanger or not. 

- Special thanks to Yukari-Uchida and Pyro Nynja; they've reviewed every single chapter. 

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"So, Boss, explain again what happened. I don't think I fully got it the first time." That was Gaddes.

"She fainted last night, the doctor came and said she was fine, just sleeping and this morning…this." That was Allen. He was whispering but what was he talking about?

"You came in this morning and this is what you found?" Gaddes again.

"Yes. I don't how it happened but last night she kept going on about not wanting to live and wanting to…wanting to, well, give him life. I came to check on her and…THIS!" goodness knows how he managed to shout and whisper at one time.

"And you didn't call the doctor yet?" Gaddes asked. He seemed to be on much more stable wavelength than Allen at the moment.

"You think a doctor could undo something like this? I don't think I trust the doctor enough. He might tell people without knowing the entire story and I don't to go through something like a trial. I've been to some of those and couldn't sleep for days after each one. In any case, do you think any person in their right minds would see this and not run out of here screaming bloody murder?" Allen said.

 Celena didn't understand what they were going on about, what could be so bad? She decided she would just listen but she was extremely comfortable where she was and staying there and listening couldn't hurt. Why would Allen have to go through a trail? He was Heavenly Knight and, as far as she understood, one of the best ones.

"I don't see what you can do for now. I suggest you wait for 'em to wake up. Then I'd get some answers if I were you."

"I'll do that." there was the sound of moving and the door opening. Before it closed, Allen said, "I can count on your silence for the time being, can I not?" no answer. He might have nodded. 

"Thank you, Gaddes, you are a true friend."

"Anytime, boss." The door closed. Celena was completely in the dark. WHAT WERE THEY TALKING ABOUT? 'Wait for 'em to wake up'? Who were they talking about? What was going on? Celena decided it was time to get some answers. She tried to move but was suddenly aware of an arm around her waist keeping her in place. 

_What?_

She suddenly became aware of an entirely alien presence in her bed. It didn't feel uncomfortable, in fact; it felt great. Celena felt as though she and whoever it was that was in her bed were a perfectly fitted set, one body into the other making a whole. But right now wasn't the time to think about exactly how complete she felt, it was the time to wonder what the ***k (a word Dilandau liked to use) somebody else was doing in her bed.     

She opened her eyes and was faced with white, a white shirt, she moved her head to look up and saw what could only have been called an angel face but there was an implanted wickedness on there that was unmistakeable. Celena thought she would faint. She reached a hand up and stroked the cheek of the person next to her.

"Dilandau, wake up," she whispered. 

"Hmm?" he questioned sleepily and turning his head into the pillow. "What is it, Celena?" He turned his head very slowly back to her, looking at her with ruby eyes as wide as was humanly possible and then, ever so melodiously, he shrieked, startling Allen so badly that he fell of his chair.

Celena found it almost impossible not to shriek with laughter at the hilarity of the situation in her bedroom. She sat up to see Allen trying in vain to regain his composure while forgetting that he was lying spread-eagled on the floor. Dilandau was staring amazedly at the canopy roof of her bed.

She looked at him, trying to discern what could possibly be going on behind those almost blank yet completely astonished eyes. He had been crying, then kissing a girl he was trying to comfort, then sleeping soundly, suddenly waking up to find himself in that girl's bed with her brother glowering at them, the girl being one who seemed to have existed only in his head for the past twelve years no less!

Then something else that had not crossed her mind decided to parade across it wearing all the colours of the rainbow. How exactly had Dilandau and her separated? Turning to face him, she found his eyes focused in her back for when she sat up, she wound up somewhere in the middle of the bed, where her middle section was naturally found, while his head stayed at the top on the pillows. She blushed slightly since her back was very bare and she realised that that tiny piece of cloth she had used, as a nightgown last night was still the only thing she had on.

 Allen was still on the floor staring blankly at the ceiling and Celena, no offence meant to her beloved brother, thought that he looked like a very dumb blonde. Dilandau seemed completely absorbed in thought and as she stared at him, Celena noticed that something was different about him. What was it…?

_'How on all Gaea did I get here?'_ seemed to be the most popular thought in Dilandau's head for the time being. After every two or so other thoughts, this one insisted upon resurfacing. What had happened last night? He recalled everything from her fainting to the moment she kissed him and his returning it. Now that would be something to talk about. They would definitely talk about that soon. 'Do you hear me, Celena?' he called mentally and for the first time realised that he was really alone in his head when no reply came his way. He suddenly felt very, very lonely.

 There was another thing to think about, how had they separated bodies? Maybe Schezar knew something but Dilandau dreaded having to ask the knight what had happened. Where was the knight anyways? He could have sworn he was on that chair right over there in one of the eight corners just a moment ago. As he pondered these and other thoughts, his hand ventured automatically to his face to stoke at his scar. 

'_By the Mystic moon, how on Gaea…?'_ The same thought ran through both Dilandau's and Celena's heads at the same time, exact wording to be precise, as they both realised what they were seeing. His scar was gone.

********

**AN:** I hate to say this but this chapter is going to be the LAST one for this week. I'm not going to update until Friday because school for me starts tomorrow (Monday) and my mom has banned me from posting fan fiction on school days. **SORRY!**

REVIEWS, FLAMES, COMMENTS, SUGGESTION ARE WELCOME. LEAVE THEM IN A REVIEW AND THANX FOR READING ^-^!


	5. Hatred

Secrets Chapter Five

**AN:** I know it's later than I promised but don't kill me. I'm having hell here but I keep writing. This chapter doesn't go very far into the future and I think we're still in the same half hour as the last chapter. Allen finally gets up ^-^!

Enjoy, if possible. 

********

     Bitterness. Bitter was the only word that could possibly describe Dilandau at that moment. He was bitter and full of anger and hate. After getting his wits together, he managed to sit up next to Celena and stare around her room. He was impressed. It was spacious, being an octagonal room, and not too girlish. It was mainly violet with hints of black here and there, not too far out of Dilandau's taste. 

The bed was positioned in the queerest place; the centre of the room and everything seemed to happen around it. A glass wall, which was actually doors, led out onto a semi-circular patio. The light streaming in through the pulled back curtains lit the room beautifully. 

Getting back to his present state of mind, however, he came to a conclusion. His life was screwed. Simple as that, he was Fate's favourite little toy. He hated everything and everyone alive. He hated himself most of all for being so weak as to let these emotions overwhelm him to such an extent. 

But then he thought that he was wrong, he did not hate every single living thing in the world. He hated specific things, for specific reasons, specific things that were responsible for his pain and his suffering. He reviled Life for giving him the greatest gift a soul could have and leaving him to the life that he had had. He detested Fate for what it did to his life, for placing him in Zaibach's hands, for making him have to make the types of decisions he was forced to make and he hated that he grew to like killing.

He was angry with Van Fanel…and Allen Schezar…and all of the people who had left him. He despised Death for not taking him. For making him suffer through the deaths of his Dragonslayers and Jajuka, and never giving his soul relief, never giving him the chance to be free. He was damned to live in his Hell, in the constant replay of the deaths of everyone that had ever mattered to him.

There was one thing he was sure he didn't hate. Celena's efforts. Maybe he could now move on, start over, do something else. He really had no place in the world though. If he got out he'd probably be eaten alive. People hated him, he knew that much. So where could he go? 

Schezar definitely wouldn't let him stay here. Not with him being who he is and his little sister being on the loose. He couldn't possibly know that they had kissed but still, he didn't trust him as far as he could throw his manor. Dilandau had heard him say it so many times. But what was it that Celena had said? Oh yes, most people thought he was otherwise inclined. Maybe that could work in his favour.

There was one question; where on Gaea was Schezar? He turned to look at Celena and found her already looking at him. Suddenly he realised what people had been saying about Schezar beauty all this time. It was amazing; she had to be the single most beautiful girl he had ever seen in his life. He drew in his breath sharply and she frowned.

"Dilandau, what's wrong?" she asked. He could almost laugh. Everything was wrong. He was wrong. Life was screwed and at the moment he felt as though he had been royally disposed of. She was too considerate, always thinking of other people. Ha! That's what they thought. They didn't know her. She knew exactly what she was getting out of everything she was doing. Or maybe that was his thinking? 

He came to another conclusion; this was going to be very confusing. He needed to get to know himself. Although he and Celena had insisted that they were two separate entities since he resurfaced six months after they arrived at the Schezar manor, he knew now that they had not been completely separate. Some of her thoughts were his and some of his were hers.

"Dilandau," she said again and he felt her hand on his shoulder, which set all of his nerves off. He actually had a real body and was sleeping in a real bed, alive next to a living, breathing, Celena! He smiled. 

"Good. Now, tell me what's wrong. I want to help you. I need to help you. In any case, Allen doesn't seem to be in his best set of senses," she giggled at her own little joke and continued. "You know what? I think I'm hungry. Would you like breakfast? 'Cause I'm going to have some and I'd hate for you to think me an ill-mannered host. I mean-"

He shut her up by raising his hand in front of her mouth but not touching it. He didn't need Schezar telling him he was trying to muffle her screams and suffocate her or something to that effect. Her warm breath on his hand was pleasant though and he was averse to removing it. 

She was almost beaming at him. He guessed that was her way to get over shock. She suddenly lowered her eyes and he swore he saw tears threatening to fall. He had no idea what to do here since he was not really the girl type. (AN: Ha! the irony)

Then, she did what he expected the least, if it was possible to surprise him farther. Celena threw her arms around him and hugged him as tightly as she could hug anybody. Who cared what Allen thought?

     "I told you so," she whispered as she pulled away.

     "Thank you, Celena," he whisper in reply.

     "I'm sorry. I had to, to see if you were still real," she said. 

     "I was wondering that myself."

     "Well, you are and I insist you stay as our guest. Isn't that right Allen?" she called over the edge of the bed. The very, very, VERY disorganised and unruly looking head of Allen Schezar emerged and it was obvious that Celena was stifling her laughter. 

     "Nobody goes anywhere," he said. He stood up and straightened himself out although there really wasn't any prayer for his hair in that state. "We all have to talk." 

     All giggling ceased.

********

**AN:** I know this chapter isn't what it was supposed to be. School is a killer. Everything is going mad. They're killing us with work. First thing Monday morning, first day of school, History, double period plus home work! Maths = Trigonometry; Literature = Romeo and Juliet, a complete analysis…you get the picture? Next chapter will be up hopefully by next Sunday. 

REVIEWS, FLAMES, COMMENTS, SUGGESTION ARE WELCOME. LEAVE THEM IN A REVIEW AND THANX FOR READING ^-^!


	6. Compromises

Secrets Chapter Six

**AN:** Hello, thank you! Thank you all for the reviews and encouragement. It really helped. I'm so tired but I came home, got on my computer and typed this one out. I wrote the last piece on scrap paper in Spanish class. I hope you think it's as good as I tried to make it. 

- I don't know what they call a year on Gaea but I did find out some of the "moons" which are days I guess. I've decided to call a year a "moon cycle" and a month a "moon phase". I'm sorry if it doesn't fit. 

********

"Celena, try to see the reason here. It's not that I don't trust what you're saying, I just have past personal experience that leads me to believe otherwise."

Nothing.

"Oh, come on, Celena! The man is a wanted and supposedly dead criminal mastermind. What do you think I should think? I mean it! I know that you trust him and I can't say much to dissuade you-"

"You can say nothing to dissuade me."

"So I cannot dissuade you from your thinking but humour me! Given the benefit of the doubt, he's still wanted in four countries on the main continent. He's wanted in Zaibach for treason now, in Freid, dead or alive, and right here in Asturia to stand trail. Most of the people in Fanelia want to see him hanged as dragon feed from his ears even though Van knows the truth. 

"Can't you see what I'm trying to say? It's unsafe for him to be allowed back out into the world. People will eat him alive and I don't blame them. He did maniacal things in his time and I, personally, wouldn't put it past him again. He's done it before and you know it."

 Allen paused to catch his breath at that moment and looked almost helplessly at the stubborn face of his seventeen-year-old sister. She wasn't backing down. They had been going on about Dilandau for the past half hour and still they hadn't reached a decision. Sometimes he wondered which of the two teenagers sitting in his study had more fight in them, Dilandau or Celena?  

The study itself was the best place to carry out such a conversation since it was on the ground floor of the manor and they were assured that bits and pieces of conversation didn't waft upwards. An open wall led out into a beautiful walled flower garden that was tended to by Celena herself. A small path led to a little fountain in the centre where birds normally could be found hopping about and singing. 

The walls were soundproofed plain wood done long before either of the existing Schezars had taken breaths. Allen's forefathers (or mothers) had beautiful taste in art and the walls were lined with expensive and exquisite works of art from all over the main continent.  His desk was near the wall opposite the garden so that he had a full view of everything going on within and could see anyone trying to peep through the door (they'd be looking right at him).

 The ground was tiled in black marble since carpeting would have been a waste. The chandelier hanging in the centre of the room was practically shaped. His glass locked bookshelves were covered in books from generations before in mint condition, his desktop and papers from only recently were another case. 

He was right now standing behind his desk and glaring down at his sister as she sat in a comfortable chair on the other side of his desk looking obstinate. Dilandau was leaning against the left wall that led out into garden silently staring at the fountain and the birds. Strange, he hadn't said anything even though he was being spoken of so. It was as though he was waiting for something to happen when the two stopped speaking.       

"Allen, have you heard a word I've said? You don't seem to comprehend the fact the Dilandau will not, I repeat, WILL NOT, lay a finger on anyone of consequence in his past but to shake their hand. He has promised me, he has SWORN that he will not and I, for one, believe him," Celena said vigorously after some amount of thought. Her voice betrayed only a hint of her exasperation at her brother's obvious imperviousness. She sounded ready to keep at it for another hour if needed and she hadn't had breakfast yet!

"You are the only one who believes him," Allen stated flatly, he knew that he was getting nowhere.

"And isn't that enough? I'm the only one who has had contact with him over the past two years! Shouldn't I know what I'm talking about? Can't we at least reach a compromise?" she asked finally giving into the fact that they were both hardheaded mules and would never back down. Dilandau turned to face the conversation with this statement, curious as to what Celena had up her sleeve. He stood resting his weight on his right foot, arms crossed on his chest, expression only mildly curious, eyebrows slightly raised. 

Allen looked at Dilandau for a brief moment before turning back to Celena. _Oh Gods, NO! Not that expression!_ There were only two people on Gaea who could use that I'm-a-little-girl-all-alone-and-scared-with-no-one-on-my-side-and-I'm-going-to-cry face with such potency. Allen's battleship always sunk against that type of ammunition no matter how hard he tried to stand his ground.

The strange thing was that Celena was here pulling that face on him but he found his mind lingering on thoughts of his second conqueror. Princess Millerna Sara Aston, soon to be queen of Asturia. They hadn't seen each other in almost an entire moon cycle except for special occasions in which she was always taken up with some courtier or the other (the last time was six moon phases ago in Green at her seventeenth birthday festival). He always seemed to get swept up by somebody/something or the other which always seemed to be on the king's orders. It was almost as thought the old goat was doing everything in his power to keep them apart. To make matters worse, he was succeeding. 

But not now, there were other bigger and more pressing maters at hand. This was neither the time nor the place to brood on those thoughts. He had Celena to worry about at the moment.

Loosening the grip he had on his quill, he asked, "What kind of compromise?" The frown he had been wearing as a stand off fell and made way for the exasperated look that settled on his young face. His shoulders slackened and he slouched. Celena looked nothing less than smug.

"Very well. I thank you, Allen," Celena said quietly almost an hour later wherein much debating and dirty fighting (mainly the use of multiple deadly facial expressions and blackmail) had been done.

Dilandau looked on with a completely feeling less expression. His eyes seemed glazed over; he was looking at them with the expression he wore when he became mesmerised with something, namely fire.

This was going to be interesting.

********

**AN:** What's the compromise? Did they reach a compromise? I'll tell you in the next chapter.

REVIEWS, FLAMES, COMMENTS, SUGGESTION ARE WELCOME. LEAVE THEM IN A REVIEW AND THANX FOR READING ^-^!


	7. Explanations

Secrets Chapter Seven

**An:** Hey people! I got two up in one weekend! The homework has ebbed! Aren't I lucky ^-^? Anyway, this tells you what the compromise is but I'm not very happy with it. I personally think Dilandau has become way too OC for my liking and I intend to fix that. Anyways, if you don't know what "moon phases" are, read the AN from the last chapter. Shame on you for NOT reading them! I'm a hypocrite, I don't either ^-~. Thank you Reviewers! You're all so nice. 

*******

     Allen watched as Celena rose from her chair with all the grace of a trained from birth noble of Asturia. He was already regretting what he had done. Dilandau followed her out of the door and into the hallway that led to the main hall, he looked lost in deep thought and a slight frown creased his forehead. He actually looked smart to Allen. He turned back to the papers on his desk. 

     "Where was I?" he muttered, "Oh yes, the Fanelia Trade Treaty." Glancing at his notes he continued, "Paragraph seven, condition three. Line four where you will see…red spots." He threw his head backwards against his chair back and groaned. He obviously wasn't going to get anything done in this moon.

     Celena was having a slightly hard time keeping a straight face. As she was about to burst out in triumphant laughter, a thought struck her straight across the face. 

     "Dilandau, no one ever asked you but, are you in agreement with the compromise? Right now I'm feeling extremely horrid about not asking you before but are you?" she said quietly. It really was strange to her that Allen could say all of those terrible things about him without his ever retaliating. She looked at him as they continued walking down the hallway. He was rather handsome without that gash on his cheek. 

     "I think I would have said something if I had not been," he answered after some amount of thought. "But thanks, Celena. You really have done a lot for me and I don't think that even if I wanted to, I couldn't get away from you or your brother."

     "So you don't mind having to stay here for the next six moon phases?"

     "I don't really have anywhere else to stay and the company can't be that bad. After all, I've been living with it for the past two years," he joked. It amazed him that he actually was able to joke after everything he had been through but talking with Celena was different from talking with anyone else. She knew him and she was just easy to talk to. 

     "Therefore, you'll stay?"

     "Summarily, yes."

The next six moon phases in Schezar Manor. Well, there were worse alternatives. He could have been hanging from his ears as dragon bait in Fanelia, or standing trial in Palas or maybe running from bounty hunters in Freid. Either way, he did get a rather sweet deal, Allen Schezar notwithstanding. He got six hassle free months in which he could do some serious thinking and he could still keep the counsel of one of the smartest women he had ever met.  

A knock on his door interrupted Dilandau from his thoughts. Now who would be knocking on his door in the middle of the night? Devoid of any kind of actual weapon (probably Schezar's doing) he picked up a vase off one of his shelves, threw the water out the window and held it over his head. Very slowly he opened the door.

"You can put the vase down. All you had to do was say 'Come in', you know," Celena said as she walked into his room. 

"How did you know about the vase?" he asked quietly. "And what are you doing here?  You know what'll happen if your brother finds you in here? Thinking about it, dragon bait is starting to sound like an appealing occupation."

"Yes, but he won't. He's in his study and he won't be relating to the human world for a while. He's just gotten a letter from the palace. As for the vase, I don't know how I knew. It just seemed like the natural thing for you to do being without any kind of real weapon," she concluded.

"Logical enough. So what do you want, Lady Schezar?"

"I need to speak with you," for some reason, this seemed familiar to Dilandau. His room was dark save for the reading lamp that was on his nightstand. He was still a creature of darkness and even more so now. There weren't any chairs for guests in this particular room but the desk chair was very comfortable. The oval room had an adjacent door that led to a beautiful black tile washroom and another of those glass doors that led out onto a square patio that over looked a garden. Come to think of it, the garden outside of Schezar's study. Well, great!

She stood by the bed, leaning against one of the posts, looking solemn. He sat on the chair and asked, "What about, Milady?" he suddenly switched back to "Dragonslayer Dilandau" mode.

"Your life, your past, your future, your plans, you, me…the kiss," she concluded her sentence hesitantly. His having been a part of her was out of the window. He was a living, breathing, completely separate entity. No, he was not an 'entity', he was a human being…a rather attractive human being. 

"Ah, yes. The kiss," he said, "Should I not be the one asking you that, Celena?" 

"Yes, you should."

********

**AN:** That's it. Now you know. I really thought more people could have guessed it but I wasn't giving anything away, was I? I hope you enjoyed it and like I said, Dilandau will be more 'In Character' next time.

- I wrote another short thing on the side, "Letter", it's short, only 800 words or so. Read it and go straight ahead and flame me. You kind of get a hint as to who the Somebody Else might have been if this wasn't a D/C.

REVIEWS, FLAMES, COMMENTS, SUGGESTION ARE WELCOME. LEAVE THEM IN A REVIEW AND THANX FOR READING ^-^!


	8. Conversations

**Secrets Chapter Eight**

**Dedicated to ZEmpress and Kay Noel **

**AN:** Hello once again, I know, I'm late with this one but I got it up didn't I? For those of you who read the notice, I was having trouble so I'm glad I got one of these up anyways.

-I'd like to say special thanks to ZEmpress and Kay Noel for their e-mailed suggestions. They were really helpful and if it weren't for them I'd still be staring at monitor with no logical thought in my head. All readers owe this chapter to them and that is why this chapter is officially dedicated to them.

********

Dilandau's blood was pounding in his ears. He could hear their hearts beating, his and hers, both in a rapid, uneven tempo, in sync. He had never been in such a position before, not knowing what to do or what to say. It was strange in an excitingly dangerous way but Dilandau knew that this was too delicate a situation to just go with the flow. His only option was to revert to Dilandau: Dragonslayer mode.

     He stared at her, his eyes cold, unfeeling and speaking volumes. Anyone looking at his face would say he looked as though he didn't give a horse's ass about the girl sitting opposite him. Celena's face expressed nothing. Her face the same unfeeling mask that he wore. 

As he moved towards the balcony she followed, needing to talk to him but not knowing where exactly to start. It was an extremely romantic scene with the two of them standing at the opposite ends of his terrace simply staring across at each other as the wind blew slightly and ruffled their clothes and hair. As this thought hit Celena she almost snorted. 

     Dilandau noticed it right away. He was amazed at how fast she could change expressions. The dexterity of her face was unbelievable. With just a twitch of an eyebrow or the slightest adjustment in the width of her grin could make her face say something completely different. He didn't realise that she saw the same thing on his. 

     Her hair had grown, he noted, it was now well past her shoulders. He never looked in the mirror when she was, he had never known if she was dressed or not. But there she was, standing in front of him in a sleeveless deep violet gown that was tight to her waist, and narrow in the skirt with one long slit down her right starting at…the hip. What would Allen say if he saw her? Here, with him, alone, in that? The thought made Dilandau smile wickedly. That would be fun to watch…or would have if he would not be on the receiving end of Allen's wrath.

     She was taller now but not by much. She had always been short. Her figure (and other prominently feminine parts), highly accented by that gown, had definitely improved. It was almost too clear to him and he realised that most of her height was made up of pure leg. This also made him wonder what possessed her to wear such a thing. Was she purposely showing off for him? For some reason he thought the better of this and realised that Allen would probably find her in here and that outfit would enrage him to such an extent that Celena wouldn't actually get into trouble, he'd just spend all night ranting and raving and making a scene of himself for their viewing pleasures. 

But it did turn him on. There was no denying that Celena looked extremely sexy in that dress and it didn't help that he'd noticed it too. He would almost feel bad about noticing her in that kind of way but as he thought back, he'd never thought of her as a sister but rather a counterpart. A counterpart that he was not so sure he could live without. His heart was hammering and it was starting to almost hurt his ears. The wind was picking up. It was blowing harder and getting colder. Celena shivered involuntarily. Dilandau didn't miss it. He was looking too closely. 

"Are you cold?" he asked not even hearing himself or the concern in his voice. Celena heard it. It made her look up into his ruby eyes ('_How mundane and overused_,' she thought) but they were in truth, the first eyes she'd ever seen that could sparkle like rubies and maintain their deep, rich red colour (they were the first red eyes she had seen flat out). Dilandau had gotten taller too, he hadn't lost any of his muscle and he wasn't an ounce fatter. He was never what one would call muscular but he was well toned and you could just look at him and tell he was strong, very attractive to someone who was overwhelmed by very big people. His shirt was loose and slightly too big because it was Allen's. It was long for him too and ended a little above his knees. His pants were also borrowed from Allen but he'd folded them to his length. His feet were bare, like hers.

Silver hair blended with pale skin and blood red. He was indeed unique. A unique and exquisite specimen that emerged physically unblemished from the aftermath of war (AN -MISSING: One cheek scar belonging to Dilandau Albatau. Please report to the nearest Gaea authorities if you have any information of the whereabouts of this mark ^-~). He was, in a word, as Merle would say so very often, HOT. Maybe most people couldn't see past the cold-blooded killing monster that he was but she could.

 "If you notice," she said into the night air, "most people don't even bother to see if a killer is handsome or ugly, to them they're all repulsive and faceless, the way nobility regards any random beggar on the street. They have no bodies; only dark, hate filled souls. Or maybe people's hatred of them makes them ugly in their eyes. It's quite ironic how everyone says that killers have no souls and hearts but they never see the body of the killer, what he looks like, they see only the horror of his soul. Really, people make no sense sometimes, they say that killers have no souls but they never see their bodies. What does that make killers? Diseases? Therefore, everyone who has ever killed, in self-defence, cold-blood, anger, sport, on the hunt, they're all infected. If they're not dead, they don't have a body. Like me…like you…like us. That's what we are, dead."

She had no idea why she had said that but as she listened to herself speak, she realised what she was saying. They were like two dead bodies, they had no purpose or reason; they just were. Dilandau understood what she was saying. He watched her realise what she was saying as the words flowed out of her mouth eloquently. The wind was steadily getting fiercer, it was blowing very fast now but they weren't noticing the change.   

What Celena had actually said to Dilandau was: _'No one has ever looked at you, have they? They've always known you to be Dilandau but they never saw the person inside the guymelef, they never saw how handsome you are. They know you're a killer and that's all that matters to them. Now that you have a body what are you going to do? What am I going to do? I've always had you in my body and now there're so many things I can do but none I would be allowed to do. You are carried forever as a part of me. We are one and we might as well be dead. We are alive but with no reason.'_

They were speaking in code. A completely indecipherable and random code that followed no pattern but the other knew what was meant and understood. Celena did not fear that Dilandau had not understood her or had gotten her meaning wrong, she was afraid he had gotten it all too well.

"Words flow so well from your mouth, Lady Schezar," Dilandau said in a cold and almost wickedly teasing voice. He sounded like he was using a cruel kind of foreplay; he was seducing her with words that had hidden meanings. That was obvious enough but this time, every tone of voice had a different meaning.

 "Have you ever noticed that when you don't think, things come so easily to you. You don't have to worry; you simply give in to the thoughts and spill all of your deepest secrets. It takes no time to just let go and let reflexes take over, like in a warrior who is so well trained that everything becomes and reflex and after a while, conscious thought stops and everything is done on reflex. The only problem with letting your mouth fly off its leash is the things that you think. If you think a terrible thought, people will hear it. If you say something during your state of passiveness, you loose trust, hurt so many people. You could say something about your brother, your mother, your father, the princesses, the royal family…me," he ended quietly, saying that last word very hesitantly. He kept his gaze out of the balcony, at anything beyond her head.

He had understood her. His reply: '_You do know how to manipulate what you say very well. In your symbolism lies symbolism. You're not thinking straight. When you don't think about the consequences of your actions some things seem so easy to do. They seem like the only option. You've learnt and follow effortlessly the dictations of others, Allen for one, and you let the way they live their lives affect the way you live yours. Suddenly, it seems like the only thing to do because you are bound by the codes of honour set by your brother and the people around you so you take the honourable way out. You know that there can only be one way to escape your pain without having to face up to everything. But what would you do to the others while you indulge in some immature fantasy, idea, momentary insanity, call it what you will? What would you do to Allen? And Millerna? And Jajuka? And Merle? And all the people that loved you, died for you, love you still… What would that do to me?'_

"Death must be wonderful. There are no consequences after death. When you die, that's it. Everything is over. There's no one left to hurt and no that can hurt you. You become untouchable. Everything is fine and nothing matters. You don't matter anymore. Everything is fine." She sounded like she wanted to cry. Then stronger, almost in denial, she said, "No one cares after you're dead. They remember you and sit in silence on the day you died for a few years and then suddenly, they forget which day you died. They forget why you died. In the end, they inevitably forget you. They all have lives to live, why dwell on those who are gone when there are so many to come? Thinking about it makes you want to go."

She was almost crying but not. She would not cry. She had answered him back: _'To die would be best. Then no one would have to live with the things I did. I was a horrible person; a terrible person and I need to go. If I go I will find peace. I might actually rest. There I can't hurt anyone and no one can ever do to me what they did ever again. Sorcerers can't change me, Allen can't confine me, nothing can happen to me. But they don't love me. It wouldn't hurt them. Half the people that you're talking about are dead and WHY? Because of me. It's all my fault. Everyone's blood is on my hands. I have nothing left to live for.'_

Dilandau was sick of this word play. He was going to take control and knock some sense into that girl with straightforward sentences. She was confusing herself with her symbolism. And she was giving him a headache. Throwing all caution and tact to the wind (which was growing steadily louder and stronger), he strode forward and grabbed her shoulders. He shook her slightly to wake her up from the trance her glazed eyes suggested she was in.

"Listen to me, Celena! Lots of people, living people, love you. You have your brother and your friends who would all like to see you alive. You have the chance to live now, Celena! I'm not in you anymore. You can be your own person. I want you to live Celena. You gave me life and now I'm telling you to keep yours. Don't throw it away. Don't. For me, please, don't," she stared in utter shock at the top of his silver head that was bent over hiding his expression from her. 

He mumbled, "Don't go. I need you, Celena. You've always been there for me and I-." His sentence was cut off by the sound of the wind, it sounded like a tornado was standing next to them. They both looked up the see a beautiful huge white Dragon hovering in the air above them, flapping its great wings and perched atop its back, giving them a death-glare from hell, was His Highness, Lord Van Fanel, King of Fanelia.

Five minutes later the door of the room burst open and Van stalked in, sword drawn, followed by Allen, Gaddes and, surprisingly, Millerna. Celena curled her fingers tightly around Dilandau's arm and held him in place next to her on the edge of the bed. 

"You!" snarled Dilandau and Van simultaneously. Celena's grip tightened.

"Oh gods." Millerna murmured under her breath and it summed up the thoughts of everyone else in the room.

********

**AN:** This was one long chapter! I can't believe I wrote it. There was way too much symbolism and I thought that if I left it there no one would be able to guess what it meant so I included translations. I'm sorry if I've got you in a whirl but the whole thing basically meant that Celena wanted to kill herself (again! *mutters 'Damn drama queen' quietly*) and Dilandau was (obviously) trying to stop her. I'll post again next weekend. 

REVIEWS, FLAMES, COMMENTS, SUGGESTIONS ARE WELCOME. LEAVE THEM IN A REVIEW AND THANX FOR READING ^-^!


	9. Challenge

Secrets Chapter Nine

**An: **I'm sorry this chapter took so long. Life has just been unbearably hectic for me and I've really been going at my school work lately but its all paid off. I've got a 92% average on my mid-term grades and most of my teachers say that I can write C.X.C (a Caribbean equivalent to S.A.T) next year! YAY! 

But here it is! The long awaited Chapter Nine! Enjoy ^-^!

- Last thing,** HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO PYJA/PYRO NYNJA/NYNJA! (May 21st) She's one of my FAVOURITE reviewers (and a pretty darn good D/C writer too)!** Sorry that the greeting comes so late but, it's the thought that counts, ne? 

********

"NO! As a citizen of Asturia I have the right to challenge that!" Celena screamed.

"What?"

" I said no! By the laws of Asturia, I challenge you to a melef battle for his life."

"Do you know what you're doing, Celena?" Millerna asked quietly.

"Of course."

"I refuse to allow it!" Allen bellowed, pounding his fist on his desk. 

"Well then, screw you, Allen!"

"I accept," came Van's quiet reply to the challenge. Then, speaking to the rest of the room, said, "According to the laws of Asturia, it is her right to stand for him. Is that not right, Princess Millerna?" she nodded and he continued, "We battle tomorrow. But, I will not kill her."

"Nor will I kill you."

"Very well then," Millerna interjected, "Fourteen moons from tomorrow, at dawn."

Allen, who was left speechless, mouthed soundlessly like a fish out of water and then dropped his head into his hands, his posture utterly defeated. Van exited the room followed quickly by Allen and Millerna.

 That left only Dilandau and Celena; the two were standing on the edge of Allen's garden staring at the fountain with blank expressions on their faces, neither saying anything. Dilandau had his back against the wall since he had refused to turn it towards Van's general direction. Celena didn't blame him either. She knew what Van had done to the Slayers. 

She, personally, had no qualms about maiming him…badly. Of course she didn't want him dead, she'd seen enough death to last her a lifetime but she wouldn't mind seeing him hurt for all of what he did. He'd never heard their screams; they didn't haunt him in the dead of night. Even if she had never spoken to any of them face to face as Celena, she knew them all just as well as Dilandau did and maybe even one or two things more on the side. Gossip, on Vione, was rare but highly reliable and though Dilandau had no time to listen to it, Celena had found herself listening with interest while Dilandau stared of into emptiness with a blank expression on his face. 

Yes, it was true, she wouldn't move a muscle to save Van Fanel from harm. Death maybe, but not physical pain, not even intense physical pain. She would, in fact, probably look on and relish his screams and cries for mercy. She would listen and look and smile but she would not help. She realised exactly why her fighting him tomorrow would not be a problem. She smiled a half pleased, half rueful smile to herself and Dilandau looked at her with questioning eyes. He spoke suddenly. 

"Why?" he asked, catching her off guard. Why what?

"Pardon?"

"Why are you going to fight him? It really doesn't concern you, Lady Schezar," he said sounding cold and distant. The way he used inside her head. "You really don't have any reason to put your life in danger. After all, it's not as though I'm unable to protect myself. I don't need a woman to stand up for me."

"Then who would have? Allen wasn't going to and you couldn't fight for yourself. Someone had to stand for you and I wasn't just going to sit there and watch what I was for ten years simply be disposed of in one of the most vile ways I deem possible. At the hands of Van Fanel.

"In any case, you're a part of me whether you or I like it or not and we're going to have to live with that. I want to know about those missing ten years of my life from 'my' point of view…I'd miss your sarcasm too. And, come to think of it, who would be there to teach me all of that 'unladylike language'?" she grinned at him and, to his complete displeasure, he found himself smiling back too. Maybe she wasn't as submissive as he had thought.   

As they walked out of the study, they strolled along the corridors of Schezar Manor, staying as far away from Van and Allen as possible and talked of small unimportant things until they passed the melef hold. It was a huge room with high, arched windows on two sides that let the moonlight in and a giant door, large enough to allow two melefs pass shoulder to shoulder (with space) made up the third wall. The only things casting shadows were the guymelefs.

 Scherazade was there, along with one or two other guymelefs that Allen had and Celena took Dilandau in to show them to him. Apart from Scherezade, there were two older models that seemed to be outdated but in good shape; another that looked to be an extremely expensive Ispano; and finally, one black that looked like it was modelled after Dilandau's own Alseides.

He stared at it in awe then turned to Celena and asked, "Have you ever piloted one of these things before?"

"No."

"You do know that you challenged him to a melef battle, do you not?"

"Yes."

"Then you need training," he said, eyes bright with excitement. "Do you know how to get these out onto the courts?"

"'Courts'?" she asked.

"Where does Allen train?" he asked by way of explanation.

"Oh, the arena! Of course I can get you out there."

"Arena? When I thought Schezar couldn't get any worse." He mumbled and Celena shot him a disapproving look that he ignored, "Good. I'm going to teach you how to use these things."

"Why?"

"You're not the only who would like me to live to see the next moon phase," he answered, giving her a feral grin. She smiled back and he walked around the room, which was obviously the soldier training room also because of the irrational amount of open space left in the centre of the circle of guymelefs. 

Coming up to one of the many weapons racks located at various point in the circle, he pulled out two very fine and extremely sharp swords. Weighing them, he decided to keep one and walked over to her, the mounting of the second sword held out to her. Taking the hint, she gripped it and was amazed to find that it felt like a second nature holding it. It was almost like an extension of her arm; completely natural and at the same time seductive in the fact that she would never be able to hold one of these again if Allen had anything to say about it. Regardless of the fact that she never held a sword in her life, or at least in the portions which she remembered, she felt at ease instantly.

"Feel familiar to you, Lady Schezar?" he asked, a slightly amused to tone to his normally cold voice. He was studying her reaction with interest. How much had she been conscious of? Could she remember things that he had learnt, that he had thought and, especially, things that he had felt? Well, here was his chance to find out. From the expression on her moonlit face, he gathered that she didn't realise she had his memories stored deep inside her. It would be fun watching her find knowledge she didn't know she possessed. 

"Actually, yes," she said, smiling with a hint of wickedness in her voice. "In fact, I think, I remember Folken taking me through my paces over and over while on the Vione. I hated it!" she finished; her laughter tainted with sadness. 

Dilandau knew. Although she had said 'me' it had been him going though those paces. She had lived his life and he remembered hating going through his paces when he really wanted to get into his Alseides and burn something down. He remembered Folken watching like hawk, circling him, observing his every movement from every angle, finding faults in his stance, attacks and, occasionally, even his grip.

He remembered everything that Folken had ever said to him during those sessions. He remembered replaying the insults to help build up his rage. And he remembered relishing secretly the rare and valuable praise bestowed upon him after particularly good sessions. He had loved Folken, not as he would a lover, but as one would a surrogate elder brother. He'd never have admitted it to anyone though.

Strangely enough _'My only love sprung from my only hate'_ rang true here. Folken had been a Fanel, was supposed to have been the heir to all of Fanelia at one point in time. But Folken was dead now, so were the Slayers and all he had left to remind him that they lived and that he hadn't woken up one strange day from a terrible, horrifying and, not to mention, long dream, was Celena.

Suddenly, he had to stop. Walking over to her, he quietly took the sword from her hand, his fingers never coming into contact with hers, and replaced both. 

"Tomorrow, at dawn." With that, he turned and walked away, out of the hold. He wandered some but finally managed to find himself in a secluded part of the house on a balcony that stared out over wide, rolling, hilly expanses of forest. He stared up at the mystic moon.

"WHY THEM? WHY ME? WHY HER? WHY?" he screamed at it as though it had answers no one else had. "BASTARDS! I HATE YOU ALL! I HATE THEM! I HATE HER! I HATE YOU TOO, FOLKEN! BLOODY BASTARDS, ALL OF YOU! SOD OFF! F*** YOU AND GOODNIGHT!" He sighed. If only he could burn something. 

Finally somewhat relieved, he closed his eyes and let his memories wash over him. Faces, places, events…they all came back. He hated all of it. He couldn't escape it, he couldn't deny it, he didn't want to loose it but he hated it. For some reason, in a time when he was unsure of everything around him, he knew two things for sure. He remembered.

And he hated it.

********

**An: ** There you go! It's not as much of a cliffhanger as I'd liked it to be, but it works. Dilandau seemed OC to me so I gave him a good shout off session. If anyone reading this has ever seen the end of the series, they'll know what he's talking about. I could really do with some good fight scenes for guymelefs so if you have any, email 'em to me (my email address is on my author profile). I know this isn't a guy fic but if you can get a guy to write the action or you are a guy who writes action, I'd be grateful. 

REVIEWS, FLAMES, COMMENTS, SUGGESTIONS ARE WELCOME. LEAVE THEM IN A REVIEW AND THANX FOR READING ^-^!

Gg~   


	10. Tardiness

Secrets Chapter Ten

**AN:** Hey people!!!!! I'm finally back. I'm really sorry that I haven't updated lately but my life has become rather hectic and I just haven't had the time to write. But now I'm back.

- I personally don't think that after such a long absence, that this is good enough, but it'll have to do for now. I'll get going on the rest soon, I promise.

- To all my reviewers…if you're still out there, Thanx so much. You don't know what your reviews mean to me. I love you guys!!! ^-^!!!!! On with the fiction!!!!!!

********

     It was dawn. Celena was up and already dressed for her first melef lesson. The only question was where the hell was Dilandau? Last night had been truly strange. The Schezar manor now had a king, a soon-to-be-queen and a condemned lord for houseguests. It was almost laughable. 

     Celena was starting to worry. The sun had risen almost a half of an hour ago and Dilandau still hadn't shown. He had been acting strangely lately, even for him. He wasn't his angry defensive Dragon Slayer self and though she couldn't say that she liked him like that, she knew that it just wasn't him to be any other way.

She pondered this as she walked down the hallway to his room. It had to be the entire situation that he was faced with. For the past few months she'd been trying to prepare him, testing him to see if he was ready, trying to make him see that he could live again. But she wasn't prepared for what it meant when he did. 

To be completely honest, Celena hadn't considered what living with him would be like. Living with him as an actual person and not as a voice in your head. And she had never thought about how it might affect him. She had to admit to herself that she had been naïve. Somehow, during all her planning and hoping and excitement, she had forgotten to take into consideration the fact that maybe things would be too much for him, for her, for Allen, for Gaea. 

It hit her as she placed her hand gently on the door handle, that when thinking about Dilandau Albatau, you were not thinking about yourself and his impact on your life, you had to think about his impact on the world. Every decision ever made regarding Dilandau was made looking at how he would affect the entire planet. And his life, his very existence, changed everything on Gaea. It had ten years ago and it still did. Celena realised then, that she had in fact, been extremely narrow-minded.

The first thing that she noticed when she entered the room was the smell of alcohol; it was all over. The doors to the balcony and all of the windows were shut, the curtains were drawn and the air was heavy. Then she looked at the bed. 

She couldn't help but stare at him, a drunk, fallen angle. He was lying on his stomach, silver hair covering his eyes and topless. The sheet thrown over his legs was riding low on his hips and Celena didn't see anything taking its place. She almost looked away, wanted to look away, but found herself unable to. Dilandau was truly beautiful. On his face he wore a hard to define expression, a slightly wicked smile played on his lips. She stared at him, sipping each feature distractedly; the way one would a glass of wine when preoccupied. She found herself taking big gulps of her wine when she settled her gaze on his face again.  

Celena found herself wondering what it was like to really kiss those lips. True, she'd kissed him the night they had separated from each other but she hadn't really had the time to feel anything. What would his actual flesh and blood feel like pressed against hers? It felt like a slap in the face. 

She almost turned and ran. Then she realised that she was staring into bright red eyes that seemed to know exactly what she was thinking. Celena found she couldn't decide what they were saying. She froze. 

"I came to see if you were still alive," she said, trying to sound light and failing miserably, "The sun's been up for about an hour already." That was a lie and she knew it but it did give her an excuse. How was he supposed to know anyway? He nodded and moved to get up, the sheet moving lower. Celena closed her eyes and turned away. She walked to the door and without turning around said, "Meet me in the dining hall. We'll eat first." 

Dilandau smiled to himself when the door closed behind her. He'd been awake since she opened the door. He was, after all, a trained Zaibach soldier. It was nothing; that much was for sure. In fact, Dilandau knew that even if he wanted, it could never be anything more. Schezar would see to that.

Celena, on the other hand, was bolting down the hallway, completely mortified. How could she have even thought something like that? She stopped at the doors to the kitchen and composed herself. At least he didn't know what was going on inside her head anymore.

     Allen sat there staring out into the open blue. Really, what was wrong with him? He had to deal with tensions beyond comprehension but there he was thinking how very attractive the Queen looked! His little sister was about to die in a few days and he was wondering how free Millerna would be in a day or two for them to go out for a while.

Maybe do a little riding, walking, and shopping, of course. He felt like -despite his complete aversion to the use of the word; there was nothing better for it- shit. In the same moment that he had managed to arrive at his self-assessing conclusion, the door of the dining hall opened and Celena walked in. She looked up, flushed as red as an apple, turned on her heel and left. 

     Deciding that the morning was not going well at all, he rose from his seat at the head of the table, he excused himself and set off to find his prey; a certain seventeen-year-old, silver-haired Lord.

     Dilandau was where one expected to find him, in his room. However, Allen really was not pleased to walk into the room and find his little sister with her hand on Dilandau's pants. She was standing in front of him with one hand on his buckle and the other in his. The expression on her face was intent as she worked on the seemingly stubborn buckle. Dilandau was staring at the top of her head with a slightly incredulous, slightly amused and…was that a loving look in his eyes? Allen begged the Gods for his eyes to have been deceiving him.  

It wasn't too hard for Allen to make a few leaps and bounds towards some rather unjustified conclusions. After all, there were many reasons why two people could be in that position. But then again…it was Dilandau…and Celena.  

He cleared his throat loudly and Celena sprung away from Dilandau but wasn't allowed to get too far for Dilandau still held her other hand in his. Celena looked mortified and Dilandau…he had the nerve to grin. That was about it. Allen was fully prepared to kill the boy right there and then and to Hell with whatever it was he had promised Celena. No one had the right to rob his little sister of her innocence. 

"To honour a promise I made, I shall ask you to explain yourself before I kill you," Allen ground out through clenched jaws.

"Allen, this isn't what it looks like…" Celena began but trailed off at the look that she received. He turned his attention once again to Dilandau and glanced pointedly at his fingers wrapped snugly around Celena's wrist. Dilandau didn't let go and his smile widened just slightly so that he looked smug, he refused to smirk in such a situation.  

"I suggest you listen to what she has to say, Schezar. It'd probably make more sense coming from her than me. Celena, please explain to your brother what your hand was doing on my crotch," Dilandau said sounding positively wicked. 

Celena was astonished. How on Gaea could he say that? He wasn't helping the situation any. Well, it was his face. She looked at him and answered sweetly, "No, why don't you, my Lord?"

Containing herself at that moment was one of the hardest things she ever had to do. The way his face fell hilarious, to say the least. It looked like someone washed his expression of with a swift, single, hard spray of water. It was her turn to look smug. 

"On second thought, I'd prefer to not have an explanation," Allen threw in, interrupting their little game of wits. "Celena, I was wondering if you were in good spirits after your hasty exit from the dining hall. Obviously you are well enough to spar with Dilandau therefore I'll be expecting in the dining hall soon. We do have guests." He turned and left without another word and the two breathe and audible, collective sigh of relief.

"Jackass," Celena muttered as she shook her head and tried to pass Dilandau but he caught her wrist that he had only recently relinquished. He pulled on it and she went flying into him. He caught her with ease and stood her up properly. 

"What's that, milady?" he asked innocently.

"Really? You don't know? I'll show you one right now," Celena answered, purposely misunderstanding him. She placed her hands on his well-toned arms and turned him so that she faced the mirror and pointed directly at his reflection. "Say 'Hi', Dilly." Then she dropped her hands to her sides, turned and fled down the corridor. 

Dilandau smiled to himself. At least she had a sense of humour…and the courage to use it too. He placed his hand on his buckle to do it up when he realised that had been why Celena had her hand there. The stupid thing just wouldn't work. 

Finally, after a long, hard struggle with it, her managed to get it to work. He emerged from his room feeling and even worse fool than usual. Honestly, the sooner he got clothes of his own the better.

Now, for those bloody melef lessons.  

********

**AN:** Yeah, I know, get going. I promise I will soon. 

REVIEWS, FLAMES, COMMENTS, SUGGESTIONS ARE WELCOME. LEAVE THEM IN A REVIEW AND THANX FOR READING ^-^!


	11. Training

**Secrets Chapter Eleven**

**An:** Hey! I updated quickly for all those of you who said that the last chapter was definitely not worth the wait. Karmen Hellfire Albatau knows what I'm talking about. -So far I've been having a good day so I got this out quicker than I expected to. I was flamed ^-^! My most controversial story, 'Letter', was flamed once more. It's a Dilly/Surprise story. I'd like to hear what my other reviewers think about it so please check it out. It's short so it won't take you too long. And I really don't mind flames. They give me great laughs so don't feel bad about giving them to me.

- I have to say thank you to **dilanda** she's reviewed every chapter and never gotten a word of acknowledgement so, thanks. It means a lot when you review.

********

     If she spent another minute listening to Dilandau go over the theory of melef fighting, Celena swore she'd scream. Honestly, she was a Schezar; she wasn't completely clueless about guymelefs. But added to that was the fact that she had some of his memories of lessons he had learnt. She knew things by instinct that any novice could never have even guessed half of the basics of her knowledge. 

     "The Prima claw, one of your most lethal weapons, is made up of…Celena, are you listening to me?" Dilandau asked, seeing the expression of total boredom on her face. "Despite the fact that you are fighting for my life, it's yours that's on the line here. If you get injured, it'll be your fault."

     "I doubt you'd mind."

     "Oh, I would. Without you around, they'd have me dead sooner than later."

     "Why thank you, it's so nice to see that I mean so much to you," Celena snarled. Her patience was wearing thin. It was close to noon and she still hadn't even touched a guymelef yet.

     "Let's just get this moving," Dilandau said. He was tired of bickering and it hadn't even been an entire minute yet.

He'd been trying his hardest to explain everything he knew about guymelefs even though he knew that Celena knew most of what he was talking about. He was more than unenthusiastic about the thought of having to deal with Schezar if he put Celena in a position she couldn't get herself out of and if she was injured…Dilandau wasn't sure he could run fast enough.

"Very well, my Lord," Celena conceded, "Where do we start?"

"For 'practicals', we begin with basic fencing skills," Dilandau began in what was obviously his 'teacher' voice. "I know that you know something about this," he continued, his tone slightly mocking. Celena snorted indignantly. Ignoring her he continued on, seemingly oblivious.

"Now, take this," he said handing her a long, lightweight, sword, "and go through your paces."

"What?"

"Go through your paces," he answered. She knew what he was talking about. "Start with prime and move your way through. NOW!" 

Jumping in surprise at the unexpected bark from Dilandau, Celena almost whimpered but then realised that she had to prove she could handle what she had gotten herself into. If she was weak enough to cry at a little snap like that, she wasn't fit to battle and Allen would never accept the fact that she had grown up any other way. Sniffing slightly, she pulled herself up straight, closed her eyes and concentrated, trying to remember exactly what it was that Folken had called 'prime'. 

********

     "PRIME! QUINTE! STOP! Stay there," Dilandau ordered. Celena froze; this position had been giving her trouble from the time they began. 

For the past hour and a quarter they had been going through her paces. At first she had started of by doing them one by one, in sequence with frequent pauses for Dilandau to scrutinize each position. He was like a suppressed student who had finally gotten in control of a class. Celena could see the glee in his eyes as he located faults in her stance, technique and grip. She surmised that it also reminded him of his Dragonslayer days when he trained with his men. She had to read adjust almost everything when he was done but she realised somewhat begrudgingly, that he knew what he was doing.

Every time he changed something, she became a little more comfortable with it. She found that she was more relaxed every time he altered something. He seemed to know which muscles she was using unnecessarily and which she wasn't using at all simply by looking at the angle of her blade.  After about a half hour of one position per five minutes, Dilandau insisted they go through them in sequence with as little interruption as possible at the fastest pace possible. So for the next fifteen minutes straight, she moved from prime to octave non-stop, over and over.

Despite having worked for the better part of an hour, Celena still had not broken a sweat and was acutely aware of the fact that she was not remotely tired. Unfortunately, she seemed to think too soon for just then Dilandau decided to take it to the next level. He began calling out random position. He started slowly so that she could pick up a rhythm for her then jerky movements but picked up speed rapidly as time progressed. Within ten minutes, Celena found she had broken a sweat that rivalled some of her worst fevers.

She realised that she had never felt more tired in than in the last five minutes. That sudden tiredness was displaying itself and she hated it. It made her weak and if there was one thing she didn't need, it was for Dilandau to think that she was weak and unable to handle what she'd gotten herself into. If he did, he might just give himself up then she'd loose everything she'd worked so hard for over the past few months and the only person who truly knew and could possibly understand her. He would loose the only person who understood -and at the moment, considering what she was doing for him, she would even venture to say- loved him, in a supposedly friendly way, of course. Allen would probably lose his hair before he allowed her to get remotely romantically involved with Dilandau Albatou. So, sucking it in, she continued on, ignoring aching muscles and screaming joints.

Dilandau, however, was not oblivious to Celena's state and admired her for her diligence and determination. But it worried him that she was able to get so tired in such a short period of time. But if she wanted to win, and he knew she knew she had to win, she couldn't get tired so fast. She hadn't made mistake yet but there it was, her very first.

He was going to have to be tough on her; it wasn't only his life that he was worried about but hers too. He had studied the black Alsedies in the hanger earlier when Celena had been called off to somewhere or the other. Apparently there was some problem with one of the kitchen staff supposedly a young and foolish maid who was obviously incompetent. She would long have been killed on the Vione. 

Dilandau scowled when Celena insisted that she be allowed to go and assist the idiot. While examining the melef, he had found that certain openings in certain places could be fatal if they were taken advantage of by an opponent. Although these openings would only have done minor damage on any other guymelef, he knew the Alsedies model and realized that if Celena's stance was off and Fanel saw it, what he considered to be a minor hit could actually cause massive damage to both the Alsedies and Celena that Dilandau himself didn't particularly want to think about.

Returning to the present, Dilandau realized that whenever Celena stepped into 'quinte' he was looking directly at one of those fatal openings and thus he had to get rid of it.

"Move the blade up a little…NO! TOO MUCH!" he practically roared out in annoyance. She got it wrong. It frustrated him to no end that his origin, the girl he had literally come from, the other part of him could do so bloody badly at fencing. He also knew that he was being unjustly harsh, it was her first time as a singular entity, without him in her head. And he had to admit that she was doing much better than the Slayers when they first began their training. Celena, of all people, should've known that he was extremely precise when training; he demanded excellence from everyone under him. What made him really feel terrible though were her trembling hands after he snapped at her. He tried again, his voice softer and quieter this time. 

"Move the blade down a little, gently…stop. Right there. See, how does that work?" he asked. He hadn't realized that Celena's hand had fallen instead of moved. She stood there, mouth slightly agape, staring at the seventeen year old in front of her. "WHAT?" he snapped, somewhat uneasy under her gaze.

"Nothing. Despite the undeniable amount of fun we're having here," she pointed out sarcastically, "I think we ought to stop for a water break. I'm parched."

"Fine, do as you like but get back here within the hour," he answered.

"And what are you going to do while I drink?" she asked, one eyebrow arched delicately. Where she learnt to do that she wasn't sure but she was sure Allen would be proud of her. It was one of his favourite facial expressions. 

"I am going to be inspecting your guymelef."

"I have a guymelef?" she asked both eyebrows attempting to become part of her hairline. "Does Allen know this?"

"Not yet. But you will obviously be using the Alsedies model," Dilandau murmured very matter-of-factly. "You weren't honestly thinking that you'd be using the Scherazade?"

"Well, it is the family guymelef…" she trailed off when he scoffed at her.

"It's completely illogical for you to use that and you know how to use and Alsedies, it's easier. Not to mention, the thing is probably outdated now."

"Fine."

"Good."

********

     Allen awoke to the sounds of swords clashing. Jumping up he almost knocked himself out on the bedpost, began pulling on his shirt and then realised what was going on. It was only five in the morning but they were already at it. Honestly! He got back into bed and realised that he was still as high strung about fighting as he was in the war. It was like and automatic reaction to jump up into Scherazade every time he heard fighting outside of his window. He needed to unwind and soon. Despite having spent the last two years away from Palas and any type of fighting, he was still unable to rid himself of his nervousness. He suspected it had something to do with Celena and Dilandau having been a part of her. 

     He got up once again, closed the window that overlooked the training arena. '_Why_,' he wondered, '_did grandfather think that calling that place an arena would make it any more glamorous? Something will be done about that…soon.'_ He then turned and buried his head beneath his pillows. It was Sunday; he intended to sleep until at least noon. Damn Dilandau…he felt sorry for Celena having to wake so early every single morning. But he had to admire the two of them. They were extremely dedicated and he was beginning to get the feeling that the odds had evened themselves out considerably over the past two weeks.

     Down in the 'arena' Dilandau and Celena were wide-awake and going at each other's throats out of frustration. Dilandau was constantly shouting out of the Scherazade at Celena in the Alsedies. By some miracle, Celena ha managed to get Allen to allow Dilandau to use the Scherazde and though Allen had said that it would not function properly with someone not of Schezar blood piloting, Celena still managed to get him to let Dilandau into it. Dilandau suspected that she had to point out that it was completely devoid of Flamethrowers before Allen even seriously considered the thought.

     Celena was constantly making little careless mistakes that Dilandau knew would cost her life and Celena was trying her best and getting sick of Dilandau's constant barking at her. At first she had been even more careless the more he snapped but Dilandau noticed that the more he said and corrected, the more aggressive she became and the better her attacks were. 

     "YOU'RE NOT PARRYING CORRECTLY!" he shouted over the clang of their swords. He brought his blade down and Celena parried beautifully. Dilandau smirked proudly; she had learnt something. He continued on the offensive, charging as aggressively as possible. He realised suddenly that every blow he had sent her way hadn't landed. She suddenly changed the entire battle around by taking the offensive and with four swift moves had cornered.

     "YEILD, DILANDAU!" she shouted triumphantly, her sword poised above the heart of his guymelef. It was in that instant that Dilandau realised that she was ready for the fight with Fanel. He had fought both and Fanel had never pulled anything remotely resembling what she just had. The odds of were even. But that was when he saw it. The opening.

      "NEVER!" He thrust his sword forward under her sword arm and stopped it just a few seconds before it connected with her side. "I win, Lady Schezar. Two more inches and you'd be dead." A smug grin crept on to his face. "AGAIN!"

     Ten gruelling hours later an exhausted Celena was carried back into the castle by an almost equally exhausted Dilandau. After landing her guymelef she had opened it and proceeded to practically fall out of it into Dilandau's startled arms. She tried to apologise but was too weak to do anything but murmur incoherent nothings into his chest. Dilandau was thankful when Allen, who was up late that night awaiting the arrival of Princess Millerna, saw them and took her from him. It was the only time that he was actually willing to give her or anything over to Schezar.

     Two hours later, Celena sat bolt upright in bed to be greeted by a grinning Dilandau. Without saying anything, he rose and moved to the door where there was obviously someone stationed. A few whispered words were exchanged then Dilandau turned and closed the door behind him. He stood to his seat, an armchair positioned close to the foot of her bed. He simply smiled at her and it scared her out of her wits. Dilandau never smiled without a good reason. 

     "What?" she asked. Her voice sounded defensive to her ears. "What are you smiling about? And why did you lock the door? There's no reason to do that."

     "Are you scared of me now, Lady Schezar? You weren't when you were trying to behead me a few hours ago," he countered. He had a way of evading what he didn't want to answer. "But I have to say, you did a wonderful job of it either way."

     "What? Dilandau, come here," she said, beckoning him with her finger. He walked forward sunk onto the edge of her bed. She pressed her hand against his forehead and frowned, "You don't seem to be running a fever. Are you sure you're all right? Dilandau?"

     Celena had no idea what was going through his mind at the moment but if she did, Dilandau was sure she'd never speak to him again. Somewhere in the past half hour he'd found himself gazing at her, examining her from head to toe. She really was exquisite, even when hot, sweaty and tired…well, he was more leaning towards especially hot and sweaty. He wasn't sure what possessed him to lock the door, there would be a mid coming with food soon in any case, but he had. If he had been subconsciously thinking what he thought he had been thinking, he was sure he'd be dead if he had succeeded. Schezar would have his skin for a rug before he allowed him to lay a finger on his sister. And Celena? She'd probably have taken his head off with a spoon if she figured out what he was thinking. 

      "Dilandau, you're scaring me. Say something," Celena joked playfully but there was an underlying tremor in her voice that betrayed the truth of her statement.

"What do you want me to say? Do I have to say anything at all, Lady Schezar? Or better yet, does it have to make sense?"

     "What?"

     "Nothing, absolutely nothing," he answered quietly, smiling slightly to 

himself. "There should be a maid coming here soon with your supper. You'll be eating it up here since you are under strict orders not to move from now until dawn. Is that understood?"

     "Do you think I can win, Dilandau? I mean…Lord Van has so much more experience than I do. He's defeated you in battle and you know it. How can I, being as inferior with the blade as I am, even dream of defeating the man who ended the Destiny War?" she asked, looking almost desperately up at Dilandau. Both heads swirled towards the door when they heard a new voice entered their conversation.

     "Because Van didn't end the war. You did." Allen stepped into the room, eyes glancing between the two then finally resting on his sister. 

"What do you mean 'I did', Allen?" Celena was amazed at her brother's words. He spoke the least of the war. Some believed that he was trying to pretend that it had never happened but Celena knew better. He was only trying to protect her. 

"The two of you did. Whatever happened between the two of you during the final confrontation decided the course of the war. It was the internal battle for supremacy between the you that ended the war because, if one takes the time to study it, if Dilandau had remained the dominant personality the war might still have been going on today and we wouldn't be having this conversation. Tomorrow you would not be walking into that battle for Dilandau but as him. And, for that matter, tomorrow's battle would not even be taking place.

"As for the question of whether or not you are an able enough swordsman to take on Lord Van, the answer is a definite yes. Over the past two weeks you have shown a level of dedication and determination equal to any man or woman who fought in the war," Allen sat down on the edge of bed that Dilandau had vacated in favour of a standing position looking out the glass door to Celena's right.

"The skill that you have demonstrated when wielding the sword over the past two weeks has surpassed many of those who fought and won battles in that same war and, to add to that," he said bringing his hand to her chin and raising her bowed head to face him, "you're a Schezar. You won't loose." 

He smiled at her and cupped her cheek in his hand, "I'm very proud of you, Celena. What you've managed to live through, and the person that you've become despite all of that, is thoroughly amazing. You, dear sister, are one of the sweetest, kindest and purest people I have ever known. And you're my sister. I can safely say that if Mother and Father were here, they'd be very proud of you, Celena and I am too."

"Thank you, Allen! You don't know what it means to me to hear you say that!  Thank you so much, Brother. Thank you!" Celena threw her arms around her brother's neck and cried happily into his shoulder. He hugged her tightly, attempting to stop her tears. They did not notice when there was a soft rap at the door which was answered by Dilandau who slipped out quietly after telling the maid to wait until they were finished before entering.

Dilandau stalked down the now familiar hallways making swift and unpredictable turns every once in awhile. He knew he couldn't have provided a better answer but that wasn't what was bothering him. It was what Allen had said about them and the Destiny War. He was right; it had been Celena who had saved Gaea from his insanity. 

He found himself in the training room/hanger. He needed to vent some emotions (which ones, he wasn't sure) and since he wasn't allowed to torch anything, he decided that beating up some poor, old, defenceless fencing dummy would have to do. Striping off his boots, he pulled out a sword but found himself dissatisfied with the dummy. He took to simply thrusting at air, practicing already flawless moves over and over until he felt that they were perfect. He became so wrapped up in what he was doing; he didn't hear the other person enter the room. 

A sudden echoing clapping jerked him out his trance. He spun and found himself face to face with Celena. She stood there, looking like she'd just had a bath, smiling at him. She was dressed in a way that suggested she wasn't there to simply stand around. The loose shirt and pants were her training gear. Well, he'd already set orders on that so she was out of luck.

"What are you doing out of bed, Celena. You need your rest. You've trained hard enough today," he said. He was beginning to feel slight uneasy under her steady gaze. It was a new type of feeling for him and he wasn't too sure he liked it.

"You're starting to sound like Allen, Dilandau," she retorted, moving over to where the swords could be found, picking one up and examining it, she continued, "And I'm not going to train. I just couldn't seem to go to sleep. I think it has something to with the anticipation of dawn. I know you know the feeling."

"I do," he replied, his voice guarded. He wasn't accustomed to Celena acting the way she was. "So what exactly do you plan to do, Milady?"  

"Nothing in particular. Probably try to work out that kink in my quinte. You know how that's been bothering me lately," she replied non-chalantly. She swung her sword around a few times before settling into a lazy quinte. "See? I'm not even putting any effort into."

"Yes, but I also see that you've got it completely wrong."

"I know. I need to get this right. You said yourself that it could men the difference between victory and defeat."

"It could also cost you your life."

"So you understand what I'm getting at here."

"Yes," he said turning to replace his blade. He was going to have to help her so he wasn't going to need it.

"By the way, Dilly. That was impressive stuff just now," Celena blurted out. She was ready to kick herself as she felt the tension descend upon the room with a speed that defied logic. Dilandau stopped stiffly. He wasn't used to compliments like that, especially from someone who wasn't his trainer. 

"Thank you," he managed to mumble before continuing on. He turned silently back to Celena and looked at her sword. "Well, you have your angle all wrong to begin with…" There was an almost audible breath taken by the room itself as the two begun working. 

Two hours later, Celena left the room tired but smiling. She'd finally gotten it right. Dilandau exited a few minutes after her. While pulling the door shut behind him, he smiled slightly to himself. She had complimented him, for some reason beyond his comprehension, he felt…happy that she had liked what she'd seen. 

Well, at least he knew she was ready for tomorrow. Stopping at her door, he took a peek at her. She was passed out cold on her bed. She had barely made it through her bath and into her nightclothes before she collapsed under the blankets. 

Closing the door behind him, Dilandau walked swiftly to his own room. 

     Dawn was waiting.

********

**AN:** So that's the end of this chapter. I personally didn't like the last line but I couldn't really find anything better to leave it as. I need to start working on my cliffhanger lines, no? Newayz, all I have to say about the next chapter is: FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! ^-^! 


	12. Only

Secrets Chapter Twelve

**Dedicated to ZEmpress – Thank you for all the help.  **

****

**An:** Aw, Screw this! FIGHT!!!

********

     Dawn.

     Schezar servants were known for their discretion and reserved attitudes. That would actually account for most of the scandals that the family was infamous for. Because of their loyalty and their respect for the privacy of its members they never opened their mouths to deny, confirm, justify or even acknowledge any of what was said. In fact if they had opened their mouths in some cases, many of the rumours could have been avoided however the endless training of respectable servants of respectable houses prevailed and thus the servants in Schezar manor were as reticent as ever. 

     This was one day when everything that had ever been said about the 'silent Schezars' flew out the window and into the gutter. Their sudden burst of speech was due specifically to the events that were to take place that morning. Lord Allen and Lady Celena both realised that their talk was justified for it was not everyday that one had the opportunity to witness the King of Fanelia battle with the master's baby sister. Some were even placing bets upon their choice of victor. This made Allen frown and Celena laugh.

     The first rays of sunlight that graced the rooms and walls of the manor in hopes of waking the inhabitants therein found themselves sorely disappointed.

     Allen was, to say the least, grumpy. He had been one of the last to go to bed and one of the very first to awaken. Queen Millerna had arrived at the manor about half of an hour after Dilandau and Celena retired and was followed by Lord Van who showed up somewhere in the subsequent fifteen minutes.

     After a period of discussion regarding the finalization of specific rules, regulations and technicalities, Allen had finally thought that he could have gotten some sleep. It seemed the his oh-so-cruel servants and even crueller Fate had other plans for the Heavenly Knight who didn't look nearly as 'heavenly' when he finally trudged into to bed at midnight –three hours later.

     As he walked beside Celena, his weariness and ill temper were replaced by a gripping fear that squeezed at his uncertain heart. He glanced at his sister out of the corner of his eyes as they exited the main hall. He found her listening intently to Dilandau whose head was bent close to her ear. Every once in a while he would gesture with his free right hand –the other being held captive in Celena's vice grip– to demonstrate or clarify what he was saying. Celena, for her part, was not talking but nodding her head and swallowing every once in a while but only ever so slightly. She looked like she was going to be sick with nervousness. It reminded him of how he felt on the day of his first real guymelef battle. 

     Dilandau seemed to be completely oblivious to her state as he continued talking. It was obviously one of those 'trainer-student' moments. From what he gathered, they were going over everything they had planned during the past two weeks in a matter of seconds. Allen wasn't sure whether he wanted to know or just to watch it happen. He turned away but realised that he needed to speak to Dilandau –quickly. He turned back towards them, no longer hearing their whispers.

     Suddenly, he saw something that he didn't ever expect to see, at least not in this lifetime. Dilandau was making her laugh. Her nervousness was still evident but he was doing his best to rid her of it. Somewhere in the middle of their little chat, she said something and a certain look that flashed across her face made Allen almost growl. She did not like Dilandau Albatau in that way. He shook his head to clear it and looked back at the two. He came to a conclusion: Fate hated him.

     There it was, the same look only much more subdued and highly fought against. She wasn't admitting it to herself, Allen realised. She didn't want to acknowledge that she cared for the boy standing in front of her, whom she was about to sacrifice her life for. That brought him spinning right back to where it was supposed to be. 

It irked him to no end that Dilandau wasn't returning his sister's feelings even as she walked to what was known as 'indefinite suicide'. He had seen Dilandau train her and the immense amount of skill they both possessed. But, on the other hand, he had seen Van beat Dilandau on occasion and there was nothing else for Van to do but get better over the past two moon cycles. And that had been after years of continuous military training in Zaibach. Was two weeks with and out-of-shape, pyromaniac military captain enough the give Celena a fighting chance? A very fine pin was pricking his previous assurance, over and over again, until he could literally feel it seeping out his body.  

Without a warning he was enveloped in a hug by Celena. She kissed his cheek lightly, turned back to Dilandau and smiled slightly before jumping up and into her Alsedies. The two watched as she made her way to the centre of the field where the actual battle would take place. The two pilots listened intently as the Queen recited the incentive and terms of the duel. Allen felt his stomach churn and his throat constrict.

 Dilandau felt a short tap on his left shoulder and turned to face Allen. "Yes, Schezar?"

"No hostilities while she's out there," was the make shift truce the Heavenly Knight put forward. He took a deep breath and then asked curiously, "Do you think she can?" He didn't need to define what he was asking; there was only one focus. 

"Yes. Probably."

"Oh. Very good." Silence. Dilandau could sense there was something else the blonde wanted to ask him, he wasn't sure he wanted to have to answer it.

"Was there something else, Schezar?"  

"Yes, actually. What was the whole hand-pants business yesterday?" Dilandau snorted. He couldn't help it. Allen was still hung up on the pants thing? So this was what Celena was referring to as Allen's 'brainless-big-brother' mode. 

"Your belt refused to behave itself. She was helping me with the buckle. Only the buckle; it refused to close." Allen was sorely tempted to ask what of the look he had been wearing but decided against it.

"Much better." Schezar's gaze shifted towards the guymelefs that were still listening patiently to Millerna, who looked about to fall asleep herself. The seventeen year old breathe an unnoticeable sigh of relief. He could have sworn Allen was going to ask him something much worse…more in the direction of–

"Does she love you?" that blew the silver-haired Lord's relief out of the water. Did she love him? How on earth was he supposed to know that? But then again…

"Define 'love'."

"Romantically." That was it. Dilandau's conclusion was simple: Schezar lived to torture him.

"You'd have to ask her that. I wouldn't be able to say."

"Very well then. Do you love her?" WHY HIM? What was it with the knight and the bloody loaded questions Dilandau asked himself. The question he really had to ask himself though, was did he? 

"No. Not in that way." He said it to both himself and the knight and it calmed him to hear himself be able to deny it. But, strangely, he found himself almost saddened by the amount of ease with which he said it. Odd…very odd. Suddenly, he needed justification from the man who had made him…say that. "Why?" he demanded a little more harshly than he had intended. He didn't mind however, what business was it of Schezar's anyways?

"Just asking."

Silence overtook the two as they heard what they both believed to be the most dreaded word ever uttered fill the air. It rang out clearly from the Queen in the most authoritative voice anyone had ever heard her use. "BEGIN!"

********

     Dilandau waited. He had told her to allow Van to make the first move. Then she would be able to tell what his style was like. Silently, he did something he had never done before in his life…he sent a plea to whatever forces existed above to help Celena. Even if she didn't win, he wanted her back out in one piece. He couldn't vouch for his sanity if Fanel hurt her. 

     Van took the offensive and charged. He swung at Celena and Dilandau was pleased to see how easily she sidestepped it. He swung again, this time sending her slightly off balance. Fanel took advantage of her stumble to lunge at her and send her reeling. Dilandau cursed loudly in Allen's ear. This wasn't going according to plan. 

     Celena got up in record time but he had barely had the time to gauge which direction she was facing before the white guymelef lunged at her again from what could practically be called 'behind'. She swung around and blocked. Van threw his weight against his sword, forcing Celena to grind her heel into the ground as a brace. She strained against him for only a few moments then she pulled a handy little trick that Dilandau had taught her for exactly the situation she was in.

     Standing a little straighter, she pulled the edge of her blade along the length of Van's before pushing with all her strength against him, successfully throwing him backwards for a considerable distance. She smirked as she saw the entire white guymelef almost cringe. Dilandau saw Allen's eyebrows rise appreciatively and was inwardly pleased. 

     Not wasting time and taking advantage of her position below the towering Escaflowne, Celena threw a punch that connected squarely with the back of the guymelef's knee. It buckled and landed on its knees, the pilot obviously shocked. Allen and Dilandau were trying to figure out how exactly she had managed to hit that particular spot from her angle. Not that they were complaining or anything.

The tables turned and as Van struggled to his feet. The black Alsedies sliced openly at the chest of the white Ispano. Van was just able to bring his sword up to block what would have been the fatal strike. She lunged again but he was ready for her and blocked. He dodged under her arm and then crashed the hilt of his sword into the centre of the black guymelef's back. Celena landed hard, face down on the ground.

Dilandau's cursing, which had (for Allen) thankfully ebbed, started up anew when Celena went down. It stopped suddenly and turned into quiet mutterings as they intently studied the movements of the advancing Escaflowne. 

Van was about to ask Celena to yield when the Black guymelef rolled over onto its back and launched an upward blow at him. Taken aback, he retreated a few steps, unconsciously allowing Celena the time and space to jump back up onto her feet. Even Dilandau gaped slightly at the ease with which she executed that particular near-impossible move. 

Without further warning, Celena began an all out attack on the Escaflowne. Van was having trouble keeping up with her. She was completely unpredictable striking left then under, then from behind. She moved like a psychotic bunny. Then, on her final blast of energy, Celena swung at Escaflowne and disarmed it. She knocked it off its feet with a sidekick aimed directly at its torso and held her sword tip directly above Van. 

"YIELD, FANEL!" she shouted. Seeing that he was completely helpless, Van opened his melef and bowed a deep bow, one to a sovereign, acknowledging her victory.  

Allen, for his part, attempted to strangle Dilandau to death in a killer hug, not noticing who or what he was hugging in his state of total relief and happiness. Dilandau wasn't interested in celebrating for now; he needed to get to Celena…and fast. He pushed Schezar off of him and made his way to the centre of the field where the black guymelef stood as still as a statue. 

"CELENA!" he cried. She opened her melef and literally fell into his arms. She was covered from head to toe in sweat and looked slightly green. He caught her with ease and whispered into her ear, "You did it, Milady. Very becoming." She smiled weakly at him before passing out completely.

********

     Celena awoke to find two perfect garnet orbs staring intently at her. She looked around. She realised that she was in her own room but how did she get there? The last thing she remembered was holding her sword above Escaflowne's chest and demanding that Van yield. She turned her head to look back up into those beautiful red eyes and groaned quietly. The eyes smiled at her. She scowled at them.

     "You've had a hard morning, Milady. Don't try to move too much, your body isn't accustomed to the strain of fighting Fanel," Dilandau said to her, smiling slightly. 

     "Well, you would be the authority on that so I'll take your word for it," she responded. "Did I win?" she asked, looking away. She was embarrassed that she couldn't even remember if she had won or not.

     "Splendidly." She hadn't expected that answer. A simple 'yes' or 'no' might have done the trick but far be it from her to complain about a compliment.

     "Thank you," she mumbled, "Thank you for everything…the training, support, encouragement…thank you." She turned to look at him and he smiled a real smile as a form of 'you're welcome'. It was only then that she realised exactly what position they were in and why those eyes were so close to her own. She had been so comfortable that she hadn't even noticed where Dilandau was.

     She was lying on her left side facing Dilandau, who was lying on his right side on her bed…shirtfront wide open. He had his arm wound tightly around her waist, keeping her snugly in place. Judging from their current position, Celena deduced that while she had been asleep, her face had been buried in his chest. She shifted her legs and felt his intertwined with them under her comforter. He was wearing pants she found –thankfully– but it seemed that whatever she was wearing was extremely short. 

Attempting to think about something else but still not moving from her place in his arms, she looked out the balcony doors and saw the dark velvet of night draped over the sun. "How long have I been asleep?" she asked, looking back at him. He was still looking at her, his brow slightly furrowed. He shook his head imperceptibly.

"All day long since the end of the fight. I brought you up here and Allen had some of the ladies come in here and clean you up. He left about an hour ago in desperate need of sleep. Despite his many faults I'd have to say that he really does love you, Milady." 

"And when did you sneak in here?" she asked teasingly, knowing that Allen would never have allowed him in the room alone for anything. "And why do you insist upon calling me 'Milady'?"

"It suits you. And, actually, I relieved him from his bedside duty," he replied, sending her into a shocked silence. Allen left…Dilandau in her room…alone? It became obvious to her that they hadn't been in this position when he had left but still…? Maybe there was hope for her brother after all. "Everyone else in the house is asleep. I think it's around one in the morning right now." He jerked her out of her thoughts.

"You've been awake all this time?" she inquired. For some reason, she found it endearing that he would stay up with her for so long, in a way that was different from the way it would have been if he had been anyone else. 

"No. After you Allen began his vigil at your bedside, I went back to bed and slept for the better part of the day. I knew he'd be exhausted after today with the running around behind Van and Millerna and not having gone to sleep until twelve last night. If he had fallen asleep and something had happened to you…let's just say that I can't vouch for my sanity when it come to your safety," he finished and looked at her a bit oddly. 

Celena wasn't sure what expression she had on her face but she knew that what Dilandau had just said was probably the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to her. This time, purely of her won volition, she reached up and pulled his head down towards her. Before their lips connected fully, he breathed a quite "Thank you" into her ear. Their lips met and Celena was lost in the kiss. 

She noticed and felt things she hadn't the last time they had kissed. They moved in perfect sync with each other. And Dilandau…who knew Dilandau where and how he learnt what he knew? It was the most breathtaking thing either of them had ever experienced but they weren't going to admit to that. Celena never wanted to end that kiss but Dilandau seemed to think it was best if they did. When they broke apart his breathing was as ragged as hers. 

Panting slightly, Celena said, "Wow."

Dilandau opened his mouth to say something along the same lines but was amazed when he heard himself say, "Allen never hears about that. It didn't happen." He was about to make a retraction when Celena nodded. 

"I agree. Our Secret." She knew that was just a 'thank you' kiss. It may have been one of the most amazing kisses she would ever receive but it was just a way of her saying thank you. She snuggled closer into his chest and yawned. 

"Sleep, Lady," Dilandau commanded. "There's always tomorrow."

"Goodnight…Dilly-sama," she mumbled sleepily against his chest and smiled when she heard him growl lightly. There was always tomorrow…and the next five and a half moon phases. They still had an agreement.

Celena drifted off to sleep again thinking that no matter what she did, she always had a secret…and she always had someone to share it with. Her Dilandau.

_'It was only a thank you kiss,' _was her last thought for the night.

********

**AN:** I know…lame ending. I tried! I'm not good a t closure. Yes, I know some of you will ask for a sequel and I have one planned BUT before I write the sequel out, I have another fic that I really have to write because the idea is haunting me and I don't like to have to balance more than one story at one time. 

- I have another Dilly/Celena story out if you're looking for something else to read. It's called 'Want' and it's the first piece I've ever done that has blatant yaoi. Please read it!!!!! I'm begging you!!!! *sniff*

TO EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER READ THIS STORY…THANK YOU FOR ALL THE SUPPORT. IT MEANS TONS TO ME ^-^!


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